Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter



Friendship: Articulation

Devora Zheutlin MA, CAS

Many times, the vague good intentions we may have are born from a pure and well-intentioned place. The ideas are idealistic and sweet, but we lack follow-through

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

 Mishpacha image

 

Articulation: Using the Power of Words to Promote our Goals

“For living you’ve got to appreciate that words are important. Words are bullets.”

Rav Noach Weinberg ztz”l

One of the most potent and effective tools we have is the power of speech, and especially the impact of words verbalized out loud. Yaffa had a quiet dream that played at the edges of her mind intermittently. She wanted to find out more about the effects of healthy eating on the brain, or even how fruits and vegetables boost your overall functioning. Maybe she’d even publicize it in a concise article to be shared in her school newspaper and offered to others. Perhaps she’d form a health and nutrition club… someday. She couldn’t quite articulate what she wanted to do.


The Danger of “Someday”

Many times, the vague good intentions we may have are born from a pure and well-intentioned place. The ideas are idealistic and sweet, but we lack follow-through. That’s because the ideas we plan to “maybe, someday” do are pretty ill-defined.

A beautiful concept (Pirkei Avos, perek vav) are the Mem Ches Kinyanim, 48 ways with which to acquire Torah. One of them is the enunciation or expression of the lips, meaning, saying the words aloud. In other words, it’s a great idea in life to will something out of your heart and into reality, using words. Think about it: You announce something aloud, an idea that is formulated, spoken and heard by yourself. This idea or statement now has power over you, the speaker, and perhaps over others who overhear you. Articulating a thought has taken it from a hazy possibility right into reality.

Devora Leah felt a sense of readiness. Summer was in full swing and she wanted to seize the day and make a new friend before the new school year started. She wasn’t sure how to proceed, though. Sitting around the pool in her bungalow colony, she noticed a mentor of hers. Suri, her former babysitter of a decade ago, was now a young mother. She was passionate and spoke like she meant what she said. Devora Leah struck up a conversation with Suri and expressed this vague wish for a deeper and more meaningful friendship now that she was entering 11th grade. Suri jumped in with a concrete piece of advice. “Articulate your values, Devora Leah!” she encouraged. “If you want that friend, figure out ‘why.’ Are you lonely? No, you have other friends. Are you seeking someone to hang out with? No, you already have that. What you are searching for is a deeper friendship, to help you truly expand yourself. So say it aloud like a mantra: ‘I want to be great. I am seeking greatness in others.’ Then go ahead and seek it for real!”

Even if you find your concentration faltering when you are reading or studying, start reading aloud. The sound of your own voice has the ability to focus you, and help you hear what you are reading. It’s also a way to prod yourself into focusing and being attentive. (Excerpted from Teen Pages, Issue 702)

Related Stories

DMCs: Pen Pals!

As told to Leah Greenburg

My friends were (mostly) great but if you told one friend something in confidence, the whole class w...

Teen Fiction: A Chance to Dance

Rikki Ellinson

“That wasn’t my fault,” Leah explained. “That was just because of that annoying piece of wood!” Trut...

Movin’ On Up: Part 3

Shaina Keren

Jobs, jobs, jobs, all around the town. How did all these people decide what they wanted to do?

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.
CAPTCHA
Message


MM217
 
What’s in a Name?
Shoshana Friedman “What does Writer X have to say this week?”
Atonement — Fake and Real
Yonoson Rosenblum White confessionals and faux rituals
Four Walls Coming Full Circle
Eytan Kobre All the while, there’s been a relationship in the offing...
And Yet We Smile
Yisroel Besser We are the nation that toils to be happy at all costs
Out of This World
Rabbi Henoch Plotnick Dirshu Hashem b’himatzo — we are in Hashem’s company now...
Steven and Jonathan Litton
Rachel Bachrach The co-owners of Litton Sukkah, based in Lawrence, NY
Tali Messing
Moe Mernick Tali Messing, engineering manager at Facebook Tel Aviv
Sick Note
Jacob L. Freedman “Of course, Dr. Freedman. Machul, machul, machul”
Avoiding Health Columns Can Be Good for You
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman Only one reliable guide for good health: our Torah
Endnote: Side Notes
Riki Goldstein Most Jewish music industry entertainers have side profes...
Me, Myself, and Why
Faigy Peritzman Where there’s no heart and no love, there’s no point
Can’t Do It Without You
Sarah Chana Radcliffe When you step up to the plate, you build your home team
Eternal Joy
Mrs. Elana Moskowitz The joy of Succos is the fruit of spiritual victory
The Appraiser: Part III
D. Himy, M.S. CCC-SLP and Zivia Reischer Make sure your child knows his strengths
Hidden Special Needs
Rena Shechter You won’t see his special needs, but don’t deny them
Dear Wealthy Friend
Anonymous There’s no need for guilt. I am truly happy for you