Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter



The Invisible Girl

As told to Perl Hertz

Coming out of eighth grade, I had high hopes for my high school years. In eighth grade I was one of those girls who never really made it. I wasn’t particularly talented or smart or popular. I just was. Esther Goldstein.* Not exactly part of the scenery, but definitely not the type of girl who stuck out in any way.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

So it was that summer, the one before I entered high school, that I had such strong hopes and dreams.… Now I was having a fresh start in a new environment. Maybe now as I entered a new school, it would be my chance to finally get noticed. To gain recognition. To make new friends. To belong. Those wishful thoughts put a bounce into my step all summer long.

It was with those dreams and hopes, and carefully chosen shoes and school bag, that I walked into ninth grade. The very beginning of the year was a blur of navigating around a new building, getting used to new routines, meeting new staff members, and learning the ins and outs of high school. But as the blur of a new school and new teachers turned into routine, it slowly dawned on me that all my hopes and dreams … well, that’s just what they were, hopes and dreams. Maybe I still have to give it some time, I remember thinking.

But as the school year went by, I realized that time was not helping. If anything, it was making the situation worse. Somehow as everyone else got settled into school, I found myself once again on the sidelines. As groups began forming, and cliques came together, I so desperately wanted to be accepted into one of them. But somehow when the recess bell rang, a feeling of dread overcame me.

To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription.

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.
CAPTCHA
Message


MM217
 
What’s in a Name?
Shoshana Friedman “What does Writer X have to say this week?”
Atonement — Fake and Real
Yonoson Rosenblum White confessionals and faux rituals
Four Walls Coming Full Circle
Eytan Kobre All the while, there’s been a relationship in the offing...
And Yet We Smile
Yisroel Besser We are the nation that toils to be happy at all costs
Out of This World
Rabbi Henoch Plotnick Dirshu Hashem b’himatzo — we are in Hashem’s company now...
Steven and Jonathan Litton
Rachel Bachrach The co-owners of Litton Sukkah, based in Lawrence, NY
Tali Messing
Moe Mernick Tali Messing, engineering manager at Facebook Tel Aviv
Sick Note
Jacob L. Freedman “Of course, Dr. Freedman. Machul, machul, machul”
Avoiding Health Columns Can Be Good for You
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman Only one reliable guide for good health: our Torah
Endnote: Side Notes
Riki Goldstein Most Jewish music industry entertainers have side profes...
Me, Myself, and Why
Faigy Peritzman Where there’s no heart and no love, there’s no point
Can’t Do It Without You
Sarah Chana Radcliffe When you step up to the plate, you build your home team
Eternal Joy
Mrs. Elana Moskowitz The joy of Succos is the fruit of spiritual victory
The Appraiser: Part III
D. Himy, M.S. CCC-SLP and Zivia Reischer Make sure your child knows his strengths
Hidden Special Needs
Rena Shechter You won’t see his special needs, but don’t deny them
Dear Wealthy Friend
Anonymous There’s no need for guilt. I am truly happy for you