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Short Story: Leave it to Me

Gila Arnold

“First of all, mazel tov! “How do I know you get a mazel tov? Why else would you be calling me? One of the perks of my business is that you get to hear about simchahs all day long. Not like my sister-in-law Suri, nebach, who’s a social worker, and spends her day listening to everyone else’s tzuris. “But that’s not why you called, is it? You’re at the height of happiness! The apex of anticipation! The summit of simchah! That’s why you’re calling a party planner. Well, ma’am, you called the right person!

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

 “Let me tell you, when you hire me, I’m in it for the long haul. Through thick and thin, I’m making sure that everything goes smoothly. And if things don’t, well, I’m there to nudge them back into place. Such as what happened with little Moishy Epstein’s upsheren.

“His parents made a big splash for him — well, who can blame them, after waiting all those years.... We did a tzitzis and train theme. The tablecloth had tzitzis hanging from the corners, an electric train ran around the edge of the table with little teddy bears wearing tzitzis riding in the cars — cute, no? And we hired a clown for the event. Aidel Epstein figured it would distract the guest of honor while he got his haircut, and also entertain his friends.

“Only problem is, the night before the party, the clown comes down with the flu. ‘What are we going to do?’ Aidel wails. ‘We can’t find another clown this last minute!’ Now, if you ask me, a clown isn’t so essential to an upsheren, but, you know, it’s not my place to say anything. What the customer wants, the customer gets. So I tell her, ‘Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll take care of it.’ And I did. I showed up the next day with a clown sheitel and stood on my head for two hours keeping those little tykes happy. I told her afterwards, she’s just lucky it wasn’t the barber who canceled!”

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