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Is Something Wrong with Me?

Fraidy Goldberger

People, young and old, however shy or loud they appear may have difficulties conversing with people. It can occur with someone close or a new person they have never met. Now, take a few peaceful minutes and answer the following questions which might be the solution to your very common problem!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

trainScenario 1

I step into my local grocery on a Sunday afternoon, glance around wondering who I’ll meet. There she is, Bracha, my classmate. Should I walk away? Should I zoom past her as though I have not realized her? I simply smile at her, say a toneless “Hello,” and walk off.

I pinch my toenails together and allow an angry, yet bitter, feeling to sink into the depth of my heart, Why am I afraid to make small talk? Why can’t I find what to talk to her about? I wish I could act normal to her without turning deep red.

 

Scenario 2

I step onto the train, find a seat near a young-looking girl; she appears to be fromAmerica, definitely not English. We exchange a smile, perhaps two, and then I make myself comfortable with a can of Coke and my favorite book. I want to open a conversation with her, so I stare out of the window trying to find a suitable way of starting; the right words — but I feel my words are locked behind metal bars. I think some more and straighten myself up before I finally muster up the courage and open my parched mouth slowly. “Hi, are you fromLondon?” She looks at me and answers, “No, fromNew York.” And that was the start and finish of the conversation for the entire four-hour journey.

Why couldn’t I find something else to ask? I think, kicking my legs together.

 

Scenario 3

My mind is packed with plans for my summer trip toCampAchva. I hope to make at least ten friends, befriend tons of staff, and come home with a phone book full of new names and numbers. But it takes just five minutes on the bus for me to realize my dreams have fallen apart into a million shattered pieces. I somehow get anxious and fall into a shell, not introducing myself in the way I wanted to make my stamp of my identity. I whisper my name and then gaze out of the window.

Why did I have to do it, why did I pretend as though I have no tongue and have serious social issues? Why?

I want to beat myself for ruining my dreams of making all those new friends.

 

 

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