Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter

Stepping Out of the Shadow

Rena Michaels

To you, I am the new wife. More, I am the usurper, the woman who has come to take your best friend’s place, and even to wipe away her memory. Oh, that is too harsh, I hear you protest. Perhaps. But before you judge, please, understand my position.

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

I am the new wife. I was widowed many years ago, and although I wanted to remarry, I wasn’t sure that opportunity would ever present itself. After a few years of dating, I was blessed to meet Shaya. No dating situation ever goes completely smoothly, but things just felt right between us. Major hurdles seemed to work themselves out easily. We dated for half a year before we decided to take the plunge and get married. When I told my rav that I was engaged, he did the biggest jig of all! Our wedding was a small, intimate affair attended by our closest family members and friends. We sent you an invitation, but you chose not to come. I heard through the grapevine that you found it too hard to attend. I understood. Shaya and I were buoyant and joyful, but it had been a long, hard walk to the wedding canopy — we had both supported beloved spouses through illness and disease, we had both eased their journey into the Next World, we had both survived grief and loss. Inevitably, the memories were there, so vivid that we could almost reach out and touch them. Which made it all the more meaningful when our dear guests encircled us with gladness. I was especially touched by the outpouring of love from the family members of our first spouses.

To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.

Evolution vs. Revolution
Shoshana Friedman I call it the “what happened to my magazine?” response
Up, Up, and Away
Rabbi Moshe Grylak What a fraught subject Eretz Yisrael is, to this day
Where Do You Come From?
Yonoson Rosenblum Could they be IDF officers with no Jewish knowledge?
Heaven Help Us
Eytan Kobre Writing about anti-Semitism should rouse, not soothe
Work/Life Solutions with Chedva Kleinhandler
Moe Mernick “Failures are our compass to success”
An Un-Scientific Survey
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman Are Jerusalemites unfriendly? Not necessarily
Out of Anger
Jacob L. Freedman How Angry Lawyer was finally able to calm down
5 Things You Didn’t Know about…Yitzy Bald
Riki Goldstein He composed his first melody at eight years old
When the Floodgates of Song Open, You’re Never Too Old
Riki Goldstein Chazzan Pinchas Wolf was unknown until three years ago
Who Helped Advance These Popular Entertainers?
Riki Goldstein Unsung deeds that boosted performers into the limelight
Your Task? Ask
Faigy Peritzman A tangible legacy I want to pass on to my children
Are You There?
Sarah Chana Radcliffe Emotional withdrawal makes others feel lonely, abandoned
A Peace of a Whole
Rebbetzin Debbie Greenblatt Love shalom more than you love being right
Seminary Applications
Rabbi Zecharya Greenwald, as told to Ariella Schiller It’s just as hard for seminaries to reject you