Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter

Will You Take the Torch?

Yisroel Besser

While today’s “millennials” are consumed with personal family demands and financial worries, are we losing the culture of public askanus that has shaped our communities for the last half a century?

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

A violinist provides background music to the low hum of conversation as tuxedoed waiters circulate, offering mini-eggrolls from a tray. Meir Pfeffer greets attendees with the proprietary air of a baal simchah. The 58-year-old accountant is the chairman of tonight’s dinner. He’s been serving in that role for three decades. Pfeffer wears a new shirt, the creases still visible, and his smile is wide and welcoming as he works the room, dropping a steady stream of good-to-see-yous and thanks-for-making-its. Despite the festive air he projects, there is something not quite right in his expression. During a quiet moment, he rests an elbow on the polished wood of the curved bar. “There was a time,” he tells me, “when a dinner was an event! People cared. They left work a bit earlier, they changed their clothing and showered, waited for the babysitter and headed out together with their wives. They had fun, they enjoyed the food and company, they listened to the speeches and responded generously. The next morning, they discussed the speakers, the main course, and most importantly, the cause.” Pfeffer pauses to clutch the hand of a new arrival, then continues. “Today, we’re fortunate if they come at all — forget about getting them to actually think about the cause, or take a moment to care. There are three dinners a night, and everyone is busy with the kids’ homework and chavrusas. They’re out of here after 20 minutes and by the next morning, they don’t even remember that they were here at all.” Pfeffer’s grim assessment is countered by the optimism of others. “There has never been a more promising time for askanus than now,” says Rabbi Shai Markowitz, director of Agudath Israel’s Lefkowitz Young Leadership Initiative. “We’re seeing an eager young generation desperate to do.” Not only to do, but even give. The group of alumni who spearheaded several successful campaigns on behalf of Yeshivas Mir–Yerushalayim were amazed at the response from the younger alumni, who gave and solicited their parents as well. Convention wisdom says that “Generation Y,” or “millennials,” as they’re known, are entitled and self-absorbed. (“The Me, Me, Me Generation,” read the cover of a recent issue of Time magazine.) Yet others insist they are passionate, generous, raring to get out there and do. What doesShaiMarkowitz know thatMeirPfeffer doesn’t? For executive directors and dinner committees charged with reaching the young donors base, is it the best of times or the worst? The answer, like that of most questions, depends on whom you ask.

To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.

What’s in a Name?
Shoshana Friedman “What does Writer X have to say this week?”
Atonement — Fake and Real
Yonoson Rosenblum White confessionals and faux rituals
Four Walls Coming Full Circle
Eytan Kobre All the while, there’s been a relationship in the offing...
And Yet We Smile
Yisroel Besser We are the nation that toils to be happy at all costs
Out of This World
Rabbi Henoch Plotnick Dirshu Hashem b’himatzo — we are in Hashem’s company now...
Steven and Jonathan Litton
Rachel Bachrach The co-owners of Litton Sukkah, based in Lawrence, NY
Tali Messing
Moe Mernick Tali Messing, engineering manager at Facebook Tel Aviv
Sick Note
Jacob L. Freedman “Of course, Dr. Freedman. Machul, machul, machul”
Avoiding Health Columns Can Be Good for You
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman Only one reliable guide for good health: our Torah
Endnote: Side Notes
Riki Goldstein Most Jewish music industry entertainers have side profes...
Me, Myself, and Why
Faigy Peritzman Where there’s no heart and no love, there’s no point
Can’t Do It Without You
Sarah Chana Radcliffe When you step up to the plate, you build your home team
Eternal Joy
Mrs. Elana Moskowitz The joy of Succos is the fruit of spiritual victory
The Appraiser: Part III
D. Himy, M.S. CCC-SLP and Zivia Reischer Make sure your child knows his strengths
Hidden Special Needs
Rena Shechter You won’t see his special needs, but don’t deny them
Dear Wealthy Friend
Anonymous There’s no need for guilt. I am truly happy for you