Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter

Take Him Home, There’s Nothing We Can Do

Eytan Kobre

Hospitals and doctors are in the business of saving lives — until they’re not. Our new health care reality means both professionals and institutions are taking a different view of terminally ill patients, one in which those tottering on the edge of life are costly liabilities.

Sunday, November 09, 2014

If ever someone was qualified for the title of living legend, it was Mrs. Miriam Lubling, the diminutive powerhouse whose advocacy for patients in New York’s hospitals benefited thousands over decades. Hers was a ubiquitous, almost revered presence in hospital wards, where, dressed as if on her way to a wedding, she spent countless hours every day raising the spirits and ensuring the first-rate care of the innumerable patients she called her “cousins.”  The stories of how her selfless resolve and firm but winning demeanor produced impossible-to-get appointments for consultations and operations for people she’d never met are legion. This is the lady who once raced to the airport to confront a leading pediatric neurosurgeon heading off to vacation: “You can go on vacation, but if you don’t operate on this child’s brain tumor immediately, he never will.” And as Rabbi Israel Rosman, NYU Hospital’s Jewish patient advocate, relates, “She stuck so clearly to halachah. She spent 30 years on the floor with doctors and she never shook hands with any men, no matter what. If a phone call came in while she was bentshing, she didn’t rush.” Less than a year ago, the woman whom Rabbi Moshe Sherer called “Klal Yisrael’s angel of mercy” entered the hospital with an infection at age 96. The level of care she received from both doctors and nurses was second to none; after all, she was in the hospital she touted to be world-class. But when her infection did not respond to antibiotics, and she lost consciousness and required intubation, the Lubling family found themselves at the mercy of the ominous new reality in American health care: The doctors balked at continuing treating her infection aggressively, advising her children instead — in what has become an oft-heard euphemism for ending all life-prolonging efforts — to “let her be… make her comfortable and let nature take its course.” The family consulted their posek, who, despite the doctor’s assessment of a less than ten percent chance of recovery, ruled that in the absence of mitigating factors like excessive pain, aggressive treatment should be continued. Ultimately, says her son, attorney and communal askanChanochLubling, “the doctors who said that her staph infection would not subside were wrong — it did abate and she died from something else. After being unconscious for weeks, my mother regained some awareness, and on Purim day, when some of her grandsons sang and danced around her bed, she acknowledged them and squeezed their hands. Two days later, she left the world.” Welcome to the grave new world of American medicine, in which “quality of life” reigns supreme as the yardstick doctors use to determine what “quantity of life” will be allotted to the elderly and chronically ill. And, for these arbiters of life and death, a life of limited function and mobility inherently lacks sufficient “quality” for money and effort to be spent to prolong it. Undergirding this approach is a secular worldview that doesn’t allow for the existence of an eternal soul or a view of life that sees every additional day in this world as precious and worth fighting for.

To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.

No Misunderstandings
Rabbi Moshe Grylak Hashem revealed the secret of a balanced life
What Was the Court’s Rush?
Yonoson Rosenblum The Democratic Party’s descent into madness
Survey? Oy Vey
Eytan Kobre How could YAFFED promote such a farce?
Filling the Void
Rabbi Henoch Plotnik Jewish leaders don’t need to be declared or coronated
Top 5 Ways We Remember Our Rebbeim (and we love them for it!)
Rabbi Dovid Bashevkin An ode to these pivotal people in my life
Hanging On in Newark
Rabbi Nosson Scherman Rabbi Nosson Scherman remembers the shul of his youth
A Fine Kettle of Fish
Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman The “minor” chasadim are often the most meaningful
The Next Hill
Jacob L. Freedman The look on Malachi’s face nearly broke my heart
Tradition and Modern Meet in One Long Dance
Riki Goldstein Fusing tradition and modernity comes naturally to him
A Playlist for Shabbos
Riki Goldstein What does Moshy Kraus sing at the Shabbos table?
With Flying Colors
Riki Goldstein My 15 seconds of fame on the Carnegie Hall stage
Full Faith
Faigy Peritzman With emunah, everyone’s obligation is the same
Sarah Chana Radcliffe Silence isn’t always golden
The Only One
With Rav Moshe Wolfson, written by Baila Vorhand Within every Jew is the flame of instinctive emunah