Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter

Life, Stage Three

Malkie Schulman

You’ve finished raising your kids and your career is nearing an end. You miss those grandchildren terribly and want to help out your daughter with babysitting and dishes. While relocating in middle age isn’t always easy, the rewards can be great.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

As their children married and their home emptied, Yissachar and Elka Schwartz felt like they were walking around in an enormous house. In fact, it was once too small to accommodate everybody. Yissachar was retired and their income was drastically reduced, but their expenses remained about the same. “Our five-bedroom house in Queens was getting too expensive to keep up,” Elka says, “especially since we were supporting a few of our marrieds. It was time to downsize.” Most of their kids lived in Lakewood, so that was the natural place for the Schwartzes to consider. They found a two-bedroom-plus-study house in an adult community, 15 minutes away from the grandkids. “We’d been [to Lakewood] many times before and every time we visited, my husband would daven in the same shul,” she says. “By the time we moved, he was already comfortable.” Moving is one of the ten most stressful life events, up there with divorce and loss of a loved one — and that’s for folks of any age. For those who relocate in their 50s or later, there are additional stressors, chief among them leaving a longtime home and adjusting to new routines and surroundings. Most people don’t realize how deeply comforting their routines are — whether shopping in the same stores every week, attending the same daily shiur, or hobnobbing with good friends on Shabbos. It’s hard to get off the road when you’ve been traveling the same one for 40 years.

To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.

Weekly Struggle
Shoshana Friedman Cover text: promise big and deliver what we promise
Only Through You
Rabbi Moshe Grylak A response to last week’s letter, “Waiting in Passaic”
Are You Making a Kiddush Hashem?
Yonoson Rosenblum In communal affairs, “one bad apple…” often applies
Chance of a Lifetime
Eytan Kobre I identify with the urge to shout, “No, don’t do it!”
Work / Life Solutions with Bunim Laskin
Moe Mernick "You only get every day once"
Seeking a Truly Meaningful Blessing
Dovid Zaidman We want to get married. Help us want to date
Shivah Meditations
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman Equivalence between two such polar opposites is puzzling
Magnet Moment
Jacob L. Freedman Everyone’s fighting a battle we know nothing about
Secrets and Surprises
Riki Goldstein Top-secret suits Eli Gerstner just fine
Blasts of Warmth
Riki Goldstein Keeping the chuppah music upbeat in low temperatures
Behind the Scenes
Faigy Peritzman The intrinsic value of each mitzvah
Good Vision
Sarah Chana Radcliffe Good or bad, nice or not? What you see is what you get
Day of Peace
Mrs. Elana Moskowitz On Shabbos we celebrate peace within and without