Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter



Goodbye to your Boy

Riki Goldstein

His bags are packed, the ticket in hand, and your anxiety is through the roof. Will he find his dirah okay? Will he get a good chavrusa? Long after a beis medrash bochur arrives at his faraway yeshivah, parents may continue to worry, wondering is he finding success — or trouble. Experienced parents and rebbeim offer invaluable advice for parents on how to continue nurturing their ben Torah from afar.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

In every generation, Jewish mothers continue to send their sons to centers of Torah far from home, fulfilling the mandate from Shlomo Hamelech in Mishlei, “Chanoch l’naar al pi darko” — educate each child on the path that is right for him. The dividends are huge, but the risks and challenges have grown too. For many young men, the hardest time is those first few weeks in a new place. Yocheved remembers when her sons first arrived to learn in Eretz Yisrael. They had lived there when they were younger so it wasn’t entirely foreign, but even so, they felt overwhelmed. “Until they got their bearings, figured out where to go for Shabbos, sorted out chavrusas and dirahs, they felt very green.” Advance preparation, along with some creature comforts, can make all the difference. Yocheved advises mothers to find their sons somewhere to stay that first week if possible. “And if you live somewhere where you can invite bochurim for their first Shabbos in yeshivah, that is the biggest mitzvah. They have no idea where to go if no siblings or relatives live nearby. I’ve seen big, macho boys in tears that first Shabbos.” Rabbi Kalman Rosenbaum, menahel at Yeshivas Aderes Hatorah (Rav Senter’s yeshivah) in Yerushalayim, offers a way to ease your son’s orientation before he even sets foot in the new place. “Whichever beis medrash he’s going to, it is worthwhile having someone who has been there tell him the score before he comes. He’ll be aware of the expectations and potential pitfalls and feel more confident.”

To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.
CAPTCHA
Message


MM217
 
Evolution vs. Revolution
Shoshana Friedman I call it the “what happened to my magazine?” response
Up, Up, and Away
Rabbi Moshe Grylak What a fraught subject Eretz Yisrael is, to this day
Where Do You Come From?
Yonoson Rosenblum Could they be IDF officers with no Jewish knowledge?
Heaven Help Us
Eytan Kobre Writing about anti-Semitism should rouse, not soothe
Work/Life Solutions with Chedva Kleinhandler
Moe Mernick “Failures are our compass to success”
An Un-Scientific Survey
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman Are Jerusalemites unfriendly? Not necessarily
Out of Anger
Jacob L. Freedman How Angry Lawyer was finally able to calm down
5 Things You Didn’t Know about…Yitzy Bald
Riki Goldstein He composed his first melody at eight years old
When the Floodgates of Song Open, You’re Never Too Old
Riki Goldstein Chazzan Pinchas Wolf was unknown until three years ago
Who Helped Advance These Popular Entertainers?
Riki Goldstein Unsung deeds that boosted performers into the limelight
Your Task? Ask
Faigy Peritzman A tangible legacy I want to pass on to my children
Are You There?
Sarah Chana Radcliffe Emotional withdrawal makes others feel lonely, abandoned
A Peace of a Whole
Rebbetzin Debbie Greenblatt Love shalom more than you love being right
Seminary Applications
Rabbi Zecharya Greenwald, as told to Ariella Schiller It’s just as hard for seminaries to reject you