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Our Dream, Our Journey

As told to Rachel Stein by Kim Snyder

“This is your dream and your journey,” Kim and Matt’s doctor told them when they found out they were expecting triplets. That dream and journey wended through elation and heartbreak, joy and anxiety, acceptance and battle. And it led them to an unexpected destination: into the sheltering wings of their Father in Heaven.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

As soon as we met,Matt and I knew that our relationship sparkled with potential. Before we could celebrate our engagement, though, I had to express one caveat: “I know you’re learning and growing in your Jewish observance, but I have no interest in making Shabbos and kosher part of my life.”Matt was fine with my beliefs: “As long as we respect each other’s choices, how can we go wrong?”Matt and I married and dreamed of building a family. We soon learned that life doesn’t always move smoothly along the path that we envision. Unwillingly, we joined the infertility club — three long, pain-filled years of hope, elation, and dashed dreams. Eventually, we decided to move out of our rental apartment and into my in-laws’ basement, so we could funnel all available funds into our dream of holding a newborn child in our arms. And then we held our breath and waited. Miraculously, we were told the incredible news. I was expecting a baby. Our world was ablaze with color. At four weeks, I had my first ultrasound. The technician took a long time over the standard procedure. I lay on the bed and wondered what was going on. “There are three,” she finally said, her voice devoid of emotion. She flipped on the light. I searched, but her face was inscrutable. “I’m going to get the doctor,” she informed us. The doctor entered our cubicle wearing a grave expression. “Mr. andMrs.Snyder, I’m so sorry to tell you this,” she began, “but you’re pregnant with triplets. At this point, I highly advise selective reduction.” She recommended a perinatologist and we arrived at her office stunned by the news and confused at the doctor’s recommendations. We sat down in the perinatologist’s office. She looked up from her calendar. “You’re pregnant with triplets? When do you want to schedule the reduction?”

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