Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter



Will You Be My Mentor?

Michal Eisikowitz

There’s no need to muddle through life’s pickles on your own. Learn how to seek out a mentor who can help you sort through life’s unavoidable crises — and learn how to be an effective mentor, if others have you pegged.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Sari’s mother-in-law is meddling. Her husband is showing signs of depression. Her daughter clashes with her teacher. And her son is speaking with newfound chutzpah. Sounds overwhelming? It is. But Sari has an address.Mrs.Cukier, who’s known Sari since 12th grade, serves as Sari’s monthly sounding board. The veteran teacher doesn’t always have the answers, but she listens and empathizes, referring Sari to the right resources if necessary. Sari has already learned: After schmoozing withMrs.C., life’s inevitable bumps seem a lot more surmountable. The powerful effects of an astute mentor have been confirmed by research. In one study cited by the National Mentoring Partnership, at-risk teens mentored by an adult were 55 percent more likely to enroll in college and 130 percent more likely to hold leadership positions. The most compelling and consistent benefit of mentoring, according to a study funded by theBill and Melinda Gates Foundation, was a marked reduction in depressive symptoms. Surprised? Probably not. The findings confirm what most of us already intuited: close, supportive relationships are essential for emotional health throughout one’s lifespan, and a mentor fills that need in a deep, comprehensive way. But the process isn’t always straightforward. Aspiring mentees must know what to look for, how to launch the relationship, and how to keep it going. On the flip side, mentors must understand their role — and its limitations — and set healthy boundaries.

To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.
CAPTCHA
Message


 
Top-Down Theory
Shoshana Friedman Our true currency, the accomplishments we value most
Strive for What Binds Us
Yonoson Rosenblum The chareidi community represents something of an oasis
Embracing Victimhood
Eytan Kobre Combating the allure of victimhood
The Kids Are Going to Camp, the Parents Are Going Broke
Miriam Klein Adelman Mindy has to feel good; it doesn’t matter that I feel ba...
Work/Life Solutions with Carlos Wigle
Moe Mernick “Rejection is Hashem’s protection” 
How to Create a Simple 900-Page Novel
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman All of us can reset the titles of our own lives
Stand There or Do Something
Baruch S. Fertel, MD, MPA, FACEP It’s called collaborative care, and it works miracles
I'm Here — Are You Ready?
Riki Goldstein Upbeat and catchy, but still makes listeners think
Back in Time
Riki Goldstein "I wish I could recapture that excitement"
Mixed Messages
Riki Goldstein The unsung craftsmen who give albums their special touch
Go in Peace
Faigy Peritzman Inner peace makes us vessels for blessing
All Work and No Play
Sarah Chana Radcliffe A life only about doing your duties loses all its color
Dying to Believe
With Rav Moshe Wolfson, written by Baila Vorhand Emunah peshutah is the force behind Jewish continuity