Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter



Top Secret

Tamar Hadar

“Wine enters and secrets emerge,” Chazal tell us. So often at a Purim seudah, new facets of people are revealed, surprising facts are shared. Women don’t imbibe, but here, five women open the door and disclose the secrets they tucked deep within.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

The pressure… the excuses… the web of mistruths… Is it worth it? Some women keep the most innocuous things a secret — the high school mechaneches who hides the fact that she plays guitar, or the woman who refuses to divulge her recipe for Orange Sponge Cake. Then there are those who are guarding disclosures that spell life or death. What prompts people to hide facts? How healthy or harmful are the realities we refuse to share? Several secret-keepers consented to share their stories — anonymously, of course.   My Son’s World // Chaya, Age 40 You think you know me but you don’t. We don’t live that close to each other, but our husbands daven in the same shul and we share car pool to our girls’ school. So when I meet you in the produce department of the supermarket, I smile and ask how you’re doing as I try to keep Chezky from opening up all the bananas to see if they are ripe. You raise an eyebrow at nine-year-old Chezky’s behavior and answer brightly that you’re fine, and we both move our shopping carts along. We meet again in the treats department, where Chezky is working his way up to a meltdown because I won’t let him buy a non-chalav Yisrael treat. “Please, Ma! It’s the only thing in the whole store that I want!” His voice is rising, and so are my tefillos. Please get me out of here before this meltdown reaches serious proportions. Again, your eyebrow begins its ascent as you point out a new treat you’ve just added to your cart. I nod in appreciation, grab Chezky none too gently by the arm and head for the frozen foods. As luck would have it, you’re in front of me at the checkout line. Again, you rise to the occasion and try to make small talk as Chezky starts fiddling with the cigarette packages displayed. I see your lips flatten into a tight line and read the silent accusation in your eyes: Why can’t she control her child? Where are the basic middos in this family?


To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.
CAPTCHA
Message


MM217
 
What’s in a Name?
Shoshana Friedman “What does Writer X have to say this week?”
Atonement — Fake and Real
Yonoson Rosenblum White confessionals and faux rituals
Four Walls Coming Full Circle
Eytan Kobre All the while, there’s been a relationship in the offing...
And Yet We Smile
Yisroel Besser We are the nation that toils to be happy at all costs
Out of This World
Rabbi Henoch Plotnick Dirshu Hashem b’himatzo — we are in Hashem’s company now...
Steven and Jonathan Litton
Rachel Bachrach The co-owners of Litton Sukkah, based in Lawrence, NY
Tali Messing
Moe Mernick Tali Messing, engineering manager at Facebook Tel Aviv
Sick Note
Jacob L. Freedman “Of course, Dr. Freedman. Machul, machul, machul”
Avoiding Health Columns Can Be Good for You
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman Only one reliable guide for good health: our Torah
Endnote: Side Notes
Riki Goldstein Most Jewish music industry entertainers have side profes...
Me, Myself, and Why
Faigy Peritzman Where there’s no heart and no love, there’s no point
Can’t Do It Without You
Sarah Chana Radcliffe When you step up to the plate, you build your home team
Eternal Joy
Mrs. Elana Moskowitz The joy of Succos is the fruit of spiritual victory
The Appraiser: Part III
D. Himy, M.S. CCC-SLP and Zivia Reischer Make sure your child knows his strengths
Hidden Special Needs
Rena Shechter You won’t see his special needs, but don’t deny them
Dear Wealthy Friend
Anonymous There’s no need for guilt. I am truly happy for you