Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter



De-escalate Your Disagreements

Sarah Chana Radcliffe, M. Ed., C. Psych.

The majority of family arguments are sparked by normal everyday incidents: a messy room, a large credit card bill, a chutzpahdig response from a child. How can you stop the fighting? With these foundational communication skills, you can turn those potentially caustic conversations into calm and effective discussions.

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Many people mistakenly believe that family conflict would cease if only their spouse or child or other provocative family member would be reasonable. “My teenager argues with me constantly!” a parent might say. Or, “My husband turns everything into a fight.” In other words, it’s always the other person’s fault. Not only does this theory render people helpless victims of their combative relatives, but it does them a great disservice as well. It stops them from exploring what they can do to put an end to the endless cycle of painful arguments. Although there are countless topics that could spark a fight, most people find themselves embroiled in quarrels for only two reasons: (1) they haven’t learned the communication strategies that can prevent them from falling into arguments in the first place, and/or (2) they haven’t learned or successfully employed the emotional regulation tools that would allow them to use the communication strategies. The good news is that any one person — i.e., you — can put a stop to arguments by addressing these two foundational causes. Let’s see how.

To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.
CAPTCHA
Message


 
Drink to Eternity
Rabbi Moshe Grylak Redemption doesn’t simply mean being let out of jail
Klal Yisrael Is Always Free
Yonoson Rosenblum "In that merit will Klal Yisrael continue to exist”
Home Free
Eytan Kobre My baseline for comparison is admittedly weak
Believe in Your Own Seder
Rabbi Judah Mischel Hashem is satisfied when we do our best
Picture Perfect
Yisroel Besser Take a picture — and this time, send it to yourself
Flying Solo
Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman As Pesach loomed closer, his resentment was growing
Hanging on by a Hair
Jacob L. Freedman MD “Do you still think that I’m not completely crazy?”
A Song for Every Season
Riki Goldstein Influencers map out their personal musical soundtracks
Subliminal Speech
Faigy Peritzman The deeper the recognition, the deeper the effect
The Big Change
Sarah Chana Radcliffe Spelling things out clears clouds of resentment
The Count-Up
Mrs. Shani Mendlowitz Tap the middos of Sefirah to recreate yourself
The Baker: Part 1
D. Himy, M.S. CCC-SLP with Zivia Reischer "She can't get married if she can't build a relationship...
Know This: Infertility
As Told to Bracha Stein There was no place for me. I didn’t belong
Dear Shadchan
The Girl Here's the thing: I need time