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When Home Gets Washed Away

RC Steif

When parents of young children divorce, their kids have to contend with divorce proceedings, visitations, possible long-distance relationships with a parent, and, of course, the stigma. What about adults who no longer live in their parents’ home when the breakup occurs? Though they may be off the scene, their experience — and the impact the divorce has on them — is complex.

Wednesday, May 04, 2016

The wedding had been lovely, the week of sheva brachos blissful, and the month of really getting to know each other was a pleasant sort of challenge. Then came the life changer for Malka and Binyamin. They got jarring news: Malka’s parents were getting divorced. “I hadn’t seen it coming,” Malka, the youngest of eight siblings, says. “Only after being married several years was I able to look back at my childhood and teenage years, and realize my parents’ marriage had been heading toward a divorce all the while. “My parents were very involved in the lives of their children and grandchildren, making bar mitzvahs, marrying off children, and I didn’t realize that something important was lacking in their relationship. It was sort of overshadowed by the vibrancy and busyness of life around them.” Once the children were all married, there was no longer anything keeping them together, and Malka’s parents chose to go their separate ways. “My first concern was about how my new husband and in-laws would take it. Then, as the divorce progressed, I realized how complicated it was for me on an emotional level.” 

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