Hi, beautiful diary. I am so lucky that I randomly found you. My name is Esther. I’m 12 years old and I live in Edgware, London, England. 

My name has several meanings. Esther is also Hadassah, which means myrtle. It makes sense, considering my favorite colors are green and blue. It also means hidden. 

I have something called autism. Autism is actually a “hidden” diagnosis so I do have a connection with my name! 

From the start I’ve always been a bit weird at times. I could see that. 

It all started in 2007, my “unlucky” year. I would only wear brown, and you’d have to drive me around my school at least four times just to get me into school. And you know something? I still have no idea why I did it. 

That’s when my parents took me to a doctor. (I don’t remember exactly what kind, but my parents told me it was someone who specializes in autism.) However, I was a little nervous to go because I’m afraid of doctors. They diagnosed me with autism as soon as we got in! The doctor was nice and asked my parents a lot of questions. He had a fan in his room and that kept me busy. I was fascinated watching it turn and turn. 

My parents told me they saw that something was different about me. I didn’t like to look anyone in the eye, I was scared of loud noises, and I repeated words and phrases. But they told me I am special and fun and full of energy. 

I guess you could say I’m a tomboy. I’m sporty, and like running and climbing. I don’t mind flowers, though. They’re pretty. 

My parents own a farm. We have five horses and sixty hens that give us eggs. (I’m not able to have eggs as I’m allergic and we sell most of them.) We have bees and we sell their honey around Rosh Hashanah. 

We also recently brought two cats called Bubbles and Ninja. They live in a barn where we keep the hay. We use them to catch rats that have been stealing our eggs. I love riding the horses. It is like therapy for me. It helps me be more relaxed and calm and makes me feel good. 

I play tennis a lot. I want to teach children to play it for charity. I go to a tennis club during the Pesach holidays and in the summer. 

When you’re autistic (what people with autism are called), you feel sad moments easily. I remember my worst moment of my life was when my granddad died of cancer in 2014. I was so sad that I cried and cried. So from that day on, I started to think about charities a lot.