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Cut ’n Paste: “Have You Seen My Bunk?”

Zack Saltman

Some people have been quoted as saying, “A day camp counselor is one of the easiest jobs in the world.” Of course, these people were all later identified as professional lion tamers.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016


Photo: Shutterstock.


(“Hi, everyone, I’m your— GET AWAY FROM THAT WINDOW!”) 

The first day of camp is usually when you meet all your 28 campers and junior counselors and learn interesting and useful information about them. For instance, you might learn that you have 48 campers and that your junior counselors don’t exist. It seems impossible, but within the first three minutes you’ll be able to guess all their names, just by observing their behavior and they will all surprisingly share the same first name: Stop Moving! 


(“Don’t you guys want naptime?”) 

Typically, you’ll be supplied with a carefully planned-out schedule that looks like the following: 

Basketball: The first sport of the day is usually difficult to organize because there’s a general lack of interest, general lack of basketballs, and general lack of knowledge of the exact location of any campers. 

Snack: The camp will send along something easy to pour and pass out and, as the kids will soon figure out, easy to discard on the grass. 

More sports: Surprisingly enough, even though no one wanted to play earlier, the more aggressive campers will actually take the ball, pass it to their friends, and use it in a creative new game that is lovingly called Tear the Camp Building to Shreds. 

Indoor activities: Included in these indoor activities are pleasant, calm games like Hangman and Charades, synonyms for “Ways to ensure some of the building remains intact”. 

Swimming: This is the activity that will excite most of your campers. The excitement will last all the way until they remember one (or more) of the following three things: They forgot their bathing suit or life jacket or the fact that they can’t swim.

Photo: Shutterstock


(Say, “Here!”) 

If you haven’t managed to misplace any campers yet, now is your chance, although there is the proven “Say, ‘Here!’” method. This system of yelling out a kid’s name and waiting for his response of, “Here!” is 100% guaranteed to work. It is normal, however, that there is the slight chance it will prove unhelpful either because: 

1) The kid doesn’t know his name. 

2) Some other kid yells, “I’m here!” for the kid you are trying to find. 

3) The kid thinks you’ve lost your mind and are saying, “Say, hair!” in which case he’s trying to ignore you until your fit of madness passes.

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