Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter



Rent-a-Bochur

Zivia Reischer

“No, seriously!” My mind lit up with a thousand ideas. “Rent-a-Bochur. That’s what we’ll call ourselves. I’ll make us T-shirts. We’ll make millions!”

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

 Mishpacha image

GET RICH QUICK “Are you kidding?” I waved some papers in Manny’s face. “We’re going to be rich, man. We’re going to hire other guys to do the actual cleaning, and we can market an original line of Pesach prep products— spray bottles of Davar HaPosel, and Suspender Sacks—”

F irst day of bein hazmanim, my mother was already anxious about my room. “I’m cleaning,” I said. I pointed to the garbage bags piled against the wall.

Her eyes traveled around the room, from the dumped-out drawers to the piles of Stuff. “Doesn’t look very clean to me,” she said in her watch-me-model-staying-calm voice.

Mothers take cleaning so seriously. Seriously.

“Cleaning makes a mess. Like, it gets worse before it gets better. That type of thing.”

“Dovi,” she said warningly.

“The halachah is—”

“The halachah is that you have to listen to your mother!”

As soon as I could, I escaped to Manny’s house. He was doing the same thing as me. His mother was doing the same thing as my mother.

“Oh, hi, Dovi,” she said, in her own stay-calm voice. “I don’t know if Manny’s available right now.” She looked pointedly at Manny.

Manny looked surprised. “I’m not?”

“Manny, Pesach is in two weeks.”

“Exactly!”

Manny’s mother closed her eyes briefly. “What’s all that Stuff?”

“What Stuff?” Manny followed his mother’s gaze. “Oh, that. Well, it’s not chometz. That’s the main thing. Right?”

When she left the room, Manny shook his head. “What is it with these mothers?”

“It’s the stress,” I explained authoritatively. I had thought about this a lot on the way over. “Their brains release cortisol and it puts them into fight-or-flight mode.”

“Flight sounds good to me. Like a flight to Disneyland.”

“Maybe for Chol Hamoed,” I said. “Hey, Manny!”

Manny looked wary. “What?”

“We should open a Pesach-cleaning service. To help all these overworked, stressed-out mothers!”

“It would be so hard for my husband to go through a whole meal without learning, so I bought him a Pesach Shas…”

“A Pesach Shas?!”

Manny looked at me like I was crazy. “You mean in addition to our own overworked, stressed-out mothers?”

“No, seriously!” My mind lit up with a thousand ideas. “Rent-a-Bochur. That’s what we’ll call ourselves. I’ll make us T-shirts. We’ll make millions!”

“By testimony of our own mothers, neither of us knows how to clean.”

He had a point. “So it can be a reconnaissance mission. Market research. We can do information gathering. Operation How to Clean for Pesach. It’s gonna be great. Believe me.”

Manny groaned. “Do me a favor, Dovi. You want to clean, you can start right here.”

I picked up Manny at 9 a.m. “What’s that in your pocket?”

“A notepad.”

“For what?”

“To take notes. What else?”

I decided not to press the matter.

When we got to the Feinzeigs’, Manny made me ring the bell. “This was your idea,” he said.

“It’s not like they’re going to know who pressed the bell.”

“Exactly, so you do it.”

I rang the bell. There was a box of latex gloves on the ledge near the door. I stared at it. It was just a box someone had left here by mistake, I assured myself. It couldn’t be… (Excerpted from Family First, Issue 536)

Related Stories

Dancing in the Kitchen

Estee Rabinovicz

My mother made a decision: If she wanted a home fueled by love, light, and happiness, no one could c...

Freefall: Chapter 48

Miriam Zakon

It was that last package that had set Lieutenant Pontiac off onto his newest escapade: lighting cand...

Lifetakes: Five Candles

Yudit Green

What does she pray for? Is she saying that tefillah? The one for her children to go on the right pat...

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.
CAPTCHA
Message


MM217
 
No Misunderstandings
Rabbi Moshe Grylak Hashem revealed the secret of a balanced life
What Was the Court’s Rush?
Yonoson Rosenblum The Democratic Party’s descent into madness
Survey? Oy Vey
Eytan Kobre How could YAFFED promote such a farce?
Filling the Void
Rabbi Henoch Plotnik Jewish leaders don’t need to be declared or coronated
Top 5 Ways We Remember Our Rebbeim (and we love them for it!)
Rabbi Dovid Bashevkin An ode to these pivotal people in my life
Hanging On in Newark
Rabbi Nosson Scherman Rabbi Nosson Scherman remembers the shul of his youth
A Fine Kettle of Fish
Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman The “minor” chasadim are often the most meaningful
The Next Hill
Jacob L. Freedman The look on Malachi’s face nearly broke my heart
Tradition and Modern Meet in One Long Dance
Riki Goldstein Fusing tradition and modernity comes naturally to him
A Playlist for Shabbos
Riki Goldstein What does Moshy Kraus sing at the Shabbos table?
With Flying Colors
Riki Goldstein My 15 seconds of fame on the Carnegie Hall stage
Full Faith
Faigy Peritzman With emunah, everyone’s obligation is the same
Speechless
Sarah Chana Radcliffe Silence isn’t always golden
The Only One
With Rav Moshe Wolfson, written by Baila Vorhand Within every Jew is the flame of instinctive emunah