Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter

Jolly Solly: Full Report

R. Atkins

The inspector thought he might be able to stir up a bit of trouble. If all went according to plan, he could have Eli’s place shut down

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

 Mishpacha image


E li the animal trainer’s place was very popular, attracting lots of visitors. The animals were clean and well-cared for, and the place well-run. Mr. Ingleton, the eagle-eyed environmental inspector, had yet to find a single valid complaint — much to his disappointment.

Mr. Ingleton hadn’t given up, though. He particularly disliked Gimpel the goat, who had once chewed up a document of Eli’s, leaving the inspector without evidence. Mr. Ingleton flipped through his precious handbook of environmental regulations, and slowly, an idea began to form in his mind.

There would be grounds for action if the neighbors complained. No neighbors had actually complained, but the inspector thought he could find some complaints anyway. If his plan was successful, he could have Eli’s place shut down — forever!

The inspector pinned on his official badge, and set off on his mission.

“Good afternoon, sir,” the inspector said to the neighbor on Eli’s left. “I’m here to help protect the environment. Now, what can you tell me about the animal center next door?”

The neighbor shrugged. “Well, I must say, it’s a very well-kept place, “he replied. “The animals seem happy and well-cared for.”

The inspector frowned. This wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“What about litter? Is there any trash lying around the place? Or even leaves?”

“The only leaves are on the tr—”

“Aha! So you admit there are leaves, “crowed the inspector, making a note on his clipboard. “Good day, sir, and thank you for your help.”

Next he approached the neighbor on the right. This time, he focused on the issue of noise.

“Do you get a lot of noise from next door?” he asked.

“Not really,” said the neighbor. “Just normal animal noises, which is to be expected. I don’t mind in the least.”

“Hmm. No roosters waking you up before dawn?”

“Eli doesn’t have any roosters,” pointed out the neighbor. “The only birds he has are Pinny the peacock and Tuki the parrot. Tuki sings the most marvelous songs. I enjoy listening to him every evening.”

The inspector hid a smirk. Just the evidence he needed!

“Problem with noise pollution,” he wrote busily, “Parrot noisy at night.”

Ignoring the neighbor’s comments about what a delightful, clever bird Tuki was, that never caused any trouble, the inspector marched off without so much a goodbye. He had work to do!

By the very next morning, his report lay on the mayor’s desk. The inspector requested that Eli’s place be closed down, due to complaints from the neighbors about litter and noise, a breach of environmental regulations.

Related Stories

Protectors of the Planet

Ahuva Sofer

Bugs?! Believe it or not, even humans can gain from the hair-raising six-legged creature that someti...

Jr. Tales: The Cleanup Crew

Rachel Stein

Seriously, he wondered, what is the point of making your bed if you’re just going to mess it up agai...

Super Avi: Episode 8

Ruchama Schnaidman

“Kids who are sick are out of school for long periods of time and that equals immediate boredom,” Av...

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.

The Fortunes of War
Rabbi Moshe Grylak We’re still feeling the fallout of the First World War
Some Lessons, But Few Portents
Yonoson Rosenblum What the midterms tell us about 2020
Vote of Confidence
Eyan Kobre Why I tuned in to the liberal radio station
5 out of 10
Rabbi Dovid Bashevkin Top 5 Moments of the Kinus
Day in the Life
Rachel Bachrach Chaim White of KC Kosher Co-op
When Less is More
Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman How a good edit enhances a manuscript
It’s My Job
Jacob L. Freedman “Will you force me to take meds?”
They’re Still Playing My Song?
Riki Goldstein Yitzy Bald’s Yerav Na
Yisroel Werdyger Can’t Stop Singing
Riki Goldstein Ahrele Samet’s Loi Luni
Double Chords of Hope
Riki Goldstein You never know how far your music can go
Will Dedi Have the Last Laugh?
Dovid N. Golding Dedi and Ding go way back
Battle of the Budge
Faigy Peritzman Using stubbornness to grow in ruchniyus
The Challenging Child
Sarah Chana Radcliffe Strategies for raising the difficult child
Bucking the Trend
Sara Eisemann If I skip sem, will I get a good shidduch?
The Musician: Part 1
D. Himy, M.S. CCC-SLP and Zivia Reischer "If she can't read she'll be handicapped for life!"