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A Wasted Opportunity

Malky Cope

Sisters, friends, cousins, and aunts… everyone was asked for their advice, which they were only too happy to dispense freely. Big mistake!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

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I t all started one night when I dreamed that my friend Shevy was engaged. They say there’s some truth in the stuff that you dream. I can’t disprove that theory because the next evening I heard the happy news: Shevy was a kallah. Straightaway I knew I’d be attending that wedding. Never mind that I lived in London and the wedding was in Canada. Shevy was one of my closest friends and there was no way she was getting married without me being at her side for the entire proceedings.

The problem began when Shevy gave me the date. You see, my cousin Eli (two years older than me) had gotten engaged to a local girl just a few days earlier and was getting married on the same day. You know how it is. For months you have no weddings and then suddenly you have two on the same night and you need to choose which one to attend. What an impossible decision. A cousin or a close friend.

For one happy moment I thought my mother would make the decision for me. You see, we’re extremely family minded and I didn’t think there was any way she was going to let me fly abroad for my best friend’s wedding when my cousin was getting married in my hometown that same night. Of course I’d cry and complain and try to convince her to change her mind but deep down I’d have been happy to be told what to do.

Reality though differed. “Look, Racheli,” my mother told me when she heard my dilemma. “I know how close you are to Shevy, and I’m not going to force you to miss it because of Eli’s wedding.

 

Daddy and I are leaving the decision up to you. You have to do what you feel is best for you and we’ll support you in whatever you decide.” So there I was, left in the cold, facing one of the hardest choices I’d ever had to make.

Well, no one said I couldn’t get help making the decision and that’s exactly what I intended to do. Sisters, friends, cousins, and aunts… everyone was asked for their advice, which they were only too happy to dispense freely. Big mistake! I should have listened to the person who told me never to ask more than one person for advice and only ask if you plan on listening to what they tell you! 

Everyone had their own opinions, which they thought I must listen to, which only left me feeling more confused than before I’d started out. One minute I was convinced I’d be nuts to miss my best friend’s wedding and then the next minute my very persuasive sister was blasting me for even thinking about missing a relative’s wedding, until I was convinced that staying was the only right thing to do. Help! Back and forth like a pendulum, my mind swung. By involving so many people in the decision, I had made things way more complicated for myself. (Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 664)

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