Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter



A Wasted Opportunity

Malky Cope

Sisters, friends, cousins, and aunts… everyone was asked for their advice, which they were only too happy to dispense freely. Big mistake!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

 Mishpacha image

 

I t all started one night when I dreamed that my friend Shevy was engaged. They say there’s some truth in the stuff that you dream. I can’t disprove that theory because the next evening I heard the happy news: Shevy was a kallah. Straightaway I knew I’d be attending that wedding. Never mind that I lived in London and the wedding was in Canada. Shevy was one of my closest friends and there was no way she was getting married without me being at her side for the entire proceedings.

The problem began when Shevy gave me the date. You see, my cousin Eli (two years older than me) had gotten engaged to a local girl just a few days earlier and was getting married on the same day. You know how it is. For months you have no weddings and then suddenly you have two on the same night and you need to choose which one to attend. What an impossible decision. A cousin or a close friend.

For one happy moment I thought my mother would make the decision for me. You see, we’re extremely family minded and I didn’t think there was any way she was going to let me fly abroad for my best friend’s wedding when my cousin was getting married in my hometown that same night. Of course I’d cry and complain and try to convince her to change her mind but deep down I’d have been happy to be told what to do.

Reality though differed. “Look, Racheli,” my mother told me when she heard my dilemma. “I know how close you are to Shevy, and I’m not going to force you to miss it because of Eli’s wedding.

 

Daddy and I are leaving the decision up to you. You have to do what you feel is best for you and we’ll support you in whatever you decide.” So there I was, left in the cold, facing one of the hardest choices I’d ever had to make.

Well, no one said I couldn’t get help making the decision and that’s exactly what I intended to do. Sisters, friends, cousins, and aunts… everyone was asked for their advice, which they were only too happy to dispense freely. Big mistake! I should have listened to the person who told me never to ask more than one person for advice and only ask if you plan on listening to what they tell you! 

Everyone had their own opinions, which they thought I must listen to, which only left me feeling more confused than before I’d started out. One minute I was convinced I’d be nuts to miss my best friend’s wedding and then the next minute my very persuasive sister was blasting me for even thinking about missing a relative’s wedding, until I was convinced that staying was the only right thing to do. Help! Back and forth like a pendulum, my mind swung. By involving so many people in the decision, I had made things way more complicated for myself. (Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 664)

Related Stories

Victory Lap

Rachel Stein

INTRO This year I need to do something to take myself out of the shadows. I want to be someone, to d...

Song of the Sea: Chapter 2

Rivka Streicher

“Naomi, I’d never look at your journal. Never. I wouldn’t want anyone to do that to me. But this is ...

Collector’s Items

Yisrael Rutman

People have been collecting things since there have been people and things to collect. They do it fo...

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.
CAPTCHA
Message


MM217
 
Rapid Boil or Slow Simmer?
Shoshana Friedman Is that fabled last-minute stroke of brilliance a myth?
Still in Tishrei
Rabbi Moshe Grylak A gift from HaKadosh Baruch Hu called imagination
The Action Is the Reward
Yonoson Rosenblum Each allegation proved more dubious than the one before
G-dless for the People
Eytan Kobre Only believers consistently chose morality in the Gulag
No Way to Run a Business
Rabbi Moshe Friedman There must be a separation between mission and money
Eytan Wiener
Moe Mernick “No such thing as “passive income” or “passive business”
No One Mumbles “Remember Us unto Life”
Rabbi Emanuel Feldman To look with fresh eyes at the familiar and the everyday
We Need You Guys
Jacob L. Freedman “Reb Yitzi, tell him exactly what you told me!”
Warmest Words from the Rebbe
Riki Goldstein An underlying blessing for every married couple
Duet with Dad
Riki Goldstein “Recording this song together was a big deal for me”
Riboin: One Heart
Riki Goldstein “The harmony is a magnet. Love the song”
Good News and Bad News
Riki Goldstein Never take a chance when it comes to Shabbos
Something Rotten in the State of Grape
Faigy Peritzman It’s not enough to look good, we have to be good
Please Don’t Cry!
Sarah Chana Radcliffe Some tears can never be ignored — and others must be
Scale Past Stagnation
Rebbetzin Aviva Feiner Make life’s busyness meaningful by reflecting on the why
Dear Neighbor, Sometimes I Forget
Anonymous They remember Down syndrome but they forget Yaakov