G avriel Farber isn’t exactly the most chipper guy in the world. That’s why I was pretty surprised when he showed up at my door wearing a smile as big as Goliath’s head.

“What’s up?” I asked him as I popped-a-wheelie with TJ.

“Well,” Gavriel said, “are you going to let me inside?”

I moved to the side. May as well let him in. I mean, it’s not like TJ was actually going to prevent the guy from coming in.

“So,” Gavriel said, really loudly. Boy, was he acting weird. My mother came running into the hallway.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“Okay it is,” Gavriel said. “It is okay. It okay is.”

“Nothing about this conversation sounds okay to me,” I said. “You’re acting mighty strange.”

“Well, I have good news to share! I’m a chassan!”

“Wow!” my mother said, really loudly. Is there something about getting engaged that enlarges people’s vocal chords and raises their volume? “A humongous mazel tov! Who is the lucky girl?”

“Her name is Penina Wertenshnitzler.”

“Boy, is she lucky to be shortening her name to Farber,” I said. I slapped him on the thigh (because I can’t reach his back, you see). “I’m happy for you.”

My father came downstairs then and so did Benny. They both started dancing with Gavriel and Gavriel pulled me into the circle. It was a lot of fun. When we finished dancing, Gavriel took me to my room so he could help me to get ready for bed.

“You know,” he said as he looked through my pajama drawer, “I’m getting married in less than three months.”

“That’s very exciting,” I said.

Gavriel cleared his throat.

“I’m not sure that I’ll be able to continue working here after I get married. Uh, you know, the hours are kind of tough because I’m supposed to be here for dinnertime and bedtime.”

No way! I’d been trying to get rid of Gavriel Farber for years. I don’t exactly enjoy having someone there brushing my teeth for me and helping me to get dressed. Not that Gavriel’s so bad. But still.

“Aw, that’s such a shame,” I said.

“Yup, it is. But I’ve waited for my bashert for a long time so this is good news!”

On all fronts! He just didn’t realize it! Mazel tov all around!

I came home from yeshivah and found my mother on the phone with her yellow notebook in front of her. Her yellow notebook only comes out when she’s making a list. If she’s going to the grocery, the yellow notebook comes out. If she’s planning something for the shul sisterhood, the yellow notebook comes out. If she’s doing Pesach cleaning, the yellow notebook comes out.

“What are you planning?” I asked her.

She flipped the page. “I’m looking into Gavriel Farbers for you.”

“Huh?” I asked. “How many Gavriel Farbers are there?”

“Oh, I don’t actually mean Gavriel Farber. I mean someone like him. I have to find a replacement for you. I’m so glad he’s getting married but that means you need a new friend.”

I really don’t like when people call Gavriel Farber my friend. Let’s call a spade a spade, he gets paid for what he does and he’s not my friend!

I did not want another Gavriel Farber. (Excerpted from Mishpacha Jr., Issue 671)